Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
