I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
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