Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
