You're so nebulous sometimes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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