The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
