i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
