True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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