I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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