So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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