she smelled like a LAN party
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
