the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you win again, gameday.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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