cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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