I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
