Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
