I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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