Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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