11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
