Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
