dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
