Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
