I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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