people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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