U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
