That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
