i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
