It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
