Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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