I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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