dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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