it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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