he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
