I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
