Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
