at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
