You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
