Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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