You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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