I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
