His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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