idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
