omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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