Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
