i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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