I wish i was in the wii world.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
