Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
