i just google imaged poop.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Terrible idea I love it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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