you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
