she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
