it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We are two peas in an std pod
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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