i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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