when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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