is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We are two peas in an std pod
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
