pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize