it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
