Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
