Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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