People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
