Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
