Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
