I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
