All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
