Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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