i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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