he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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