You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
