Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
