I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
