Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
