i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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